Friday, May 17, 2013

More Formal Than a Status

Here it is- my spontaneous "I'm so tired but I need to write this down" status.  The one I looked at when I woke up and thought, "Well it definitely ain't 30 likes worthy.  Calm down friends list."  

To the mom who's breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You're a good mom. To the mom who's formula feeding: Isn't science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn't produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You're a good mom. To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You're a good mom. To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it's excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You're a good mom. To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn't easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You're a good mom. To the mom who works: It's wonderful that you're sticking to your career, you're a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it's fantastic. You're a good mom. To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you're too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You're feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren't complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You're a good mom. To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they're learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You're a good mom. To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can't run around. You're a good mom. To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don't they? We've all been through it. You're a good mom.

To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.


I could go on and on about how taken aback I was by the attention it received, but the caffeine high I'm riding insists I do otherwise.  Instead, I'd like to address the originality bit.  You see, I work overnights and it isn't easy work, the kind where you sit at a desk and fondly wander about in your psyche past the waffles you fully intend to make next Sunday morning and the strategic plotting of your backyard garden.  This is the kind where I'm frequently wearing some kind of body fluid on my pants, and it isn't my own.  The kind of work where people are summoning you and they don't want to chat about the weather, there might be blood involved and the word "stat" HAS been thrown around.  So believe me when I say I hardly peruse the world wide web of blogs very often, ever.  


One commenter stated: "Nothing is original anymore".  I can't put into words (that are written and not accompanied by my flailing gestures and wild expressions) how much I agree with this.  But consider how surprising her words are, when it comes to mothering children.  All we moms can do is quibble about what kind of cereal will enhance our little Einstein's neocortex to greater levels than Johnny or Kate's so they can be sure to graduate 3rd grade at the top of his/her class. You would think not one of us shares any philosophies on creating civilized human beings out of the tiny monkeys we start out with, if you listened to some of us converse.  Based on message board bickering, Facebook sanctimony and blog ranting, we couldn't differ more.  We all believe we have the BEST method of mothering.  But boil it down to the basics, if you will.  Hold it up to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.  Every one of us wants our baby(ies) to be fed, to be sheltered from the elements, to feel secure in the life we've created for them.  Every one of us wants our kids to be liked and sociable and confident.  When you get to the top is where the variances come in.  But basically?  We all want the same things for our kids.  We may take different routes to get there, but that doesn't make this or that practice "wrong".  That mom who relies WAY too heavily on fast food is still fulfilling her child's basic need of caloric intake.  The one who is working is providing security of resources and the one at home is providing security of family, which isn't to say the same needs aren't being met vice versa, of course.  Underneath all the petty differences that we magnify and blow out of proportion on the daily, we all have the same idea.  


You can't copyright good parenting, nor this or that mom's expression of it.  I put into words what most of us are feeling, and what many of us are already trying to say, if only the small percentage of moms who seem to be yelling their ideas the loudest would just stop and listen for a moment.


(Enter Facebook.  Ain't nobody can resist a status that says "see more..." after a paragraph of typing!)

3 comments:

  1. This is beautiful, powerful words for moms everywhere! Sam you are an amazing person and mom, your girls are so lucky to have been given you as their mom!

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  2. Did you write this?? It's amazing!!

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